How to Process the Negative Emotions When Your Circumstances Make Your Homeschool Ideal Impossible
Oct 14, 2024PODCAST | APPLE PODCAST | SPOTIFY | YOUTUBE
Navigating Change and Finding Joy in Homeschooling
Life has a way of changing our carefully laid plans, especially as homeschooling moms. We often have this ideal picture of how we want things to go: peaceful mornings, smooth lessons, joyful family time. But then, life happens—schedules shift, unexpected events arise, and suddenly, our ideal doesn't quite match reality. How do we cope with that? How do we deal with the emotions that arise when things aren’t going as we’d hoped?
In today’s blog post, I want to dive into these questions by sharing a conversation from one of my coaching calls. Even if the specific circumstances don’t exactly mirror yours, I think you’ll find the themes relatable—especially if you’ve ever struggled to balance the demands of homeschooling, self-care, and making time for fun.
The Power of Being Coachable
One of the key aspects we touched on in this conversation is the importance of being coachable. It might sound obvious, but many of us resist being truly open to self-reflection and growth. We think we’ve got to figure it all out on our own. But the truth is, being coachable—allowing ourselves to be guided and encouraged by others—takes a lot of emotional intelligence.
The homeschool mom I was speaking with shared how she had been actively trying to add more fun into her life. She recognized the need for balance, but like many of us, she found that after years of neglecting fun, the pendulum swung too far. Suddenly, she was packing the schedule with too many exciting activities and starting to feel overwhelmed. Can you relate?
Adding Fun Without Overwhelm
As homeschooling moms, we know how important it is to incorporate joy and fun into our daily routines. But here’s the challenge: when we start to add too many things, even the good stuff can feel like too much. Suddenly, our well-intentioned plans to enrich our family’s lives leave us feeling worn out instead.
In this coaching session, the mom described how she added activities like horseback riding and nature outings to their routine, which were life-giving. But over time, it became hard to know which activities to prioritize, and she felt the weight of doing too much. It’s a common struggle—once you realize how fun can transform your homeschool, it’s easy to want to do it all. But finding the right balance is key to avoiding burnout.
So how do you balance fun and the regular demands of homeschooling? Here’s a helpful mindset shift: *Find the fun in your everyday moments*. It’s not always about the big, exciting activities—although those are great—but about cultivating joy in the smaller, routine parts of life. This helps take the pressure off while still allowing space for fun and connection.
Mourning Changes and Letting Go of “Shoulds”
Another important theme we explored was the grief that comes with change. As homeschool moms, we all experience transitions in our schedules and routines, whether it’s due to a new season in life or external circumstances like a child starting school outside the home. In this case, the mom had a teenager who started going to high school a few days a week, which disrupted the morning routine she cherished.
It’s completely normal to mourn those changes. It’s okay to feel sadness, frustration, or even resentment when your day-to-day life shifts in a way you didn’t expect or want. Give yourself permission to grieve what you’ve lost, even if it seems small in the grand scheme of things. And as we discussed in the coaching call, avoid “shoulding” on yourself. That inner voice telling you how you *should* feel or how you *should* be handling things only adds unnecessary pressure and frustration.
Letting go of those “shoulds” is key to giving yourself the grace to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment.
Finding Joy in the Everyday
One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation is that joy doesn’t have to be found only in big, fun outings or once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Yes, those things are wonderful, but finding joy in the everyday moments is equally important. Sometimes it’s as simple as changing your perspective and learning to see the beauty and fun in the smaller, quieter moments of life.
This homeschool mom found that taking a walk in nature was a calming, life-giving activity for her. But she also realized that she often felt guilty for taking that time for herself, worrying that it cut into her homeschool day. Finding a balance between self-care and homeschooling can be tricky, but it’s important to remember that when you care for yourself, you’re better equipped to care for your family.
Connecting Through Vulnerability
Finally, we touched on the importance of being vulnerable with those closest to us—especially our children. Homeschooling offers such a unique opportunity to build deep connections with our kids, and part of that is being honest about how we’re feeling. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your emotions (in an age-appropriate way), you give your children the freedom to do the same.
In this case, the mom realized that sharing her struggles with her morning routine and the loss she felt with her oldest child’s new schedule could help her children understand that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling too. It’s not about burdening our kids with our emotions, but rather modeling how to navigate life’s ups and downs in a healthy, honest way.
Takeaway for Today:
If you find yourself facing changes that disrupt your ideal homeschool routine, remember to give yourself permission to grieve those changes. Find small moments of joy in your everyday life, and don’t feel pressured to do *all* the fun things at once. Finally, be open with your family about how you’re feeling and allow those moments of vulnerability to deepen your connection.
If this post resonates with you, take a moment to reflect on where you are right now. Are you in a season of transition or mourning changes in your homeschool? How can you incorporate small, joyful moments into your routine this week? Let’s focus on finding balance, embracing our emotions, and giving ourselves and our families grace as we navigate this homeschool journey together.
For more tips on removing “should” from your vocabulary, check out this podcast episode https://www.thefeastlife.me/blog/3
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