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 Raising Strong-Willed Kids with Peace and Purpose

How shifting your mindset—and your methods—can change everything

Homeschooling and parenting go hand in hand. You can’t separate them. And when you have a child with a strong will, that hand-in-hand feeling can sometimes feel more like a tug-of-war.

In this week’s episode of The Feast Life Podcast, I sat down with Wendy Snyder of Fresh Start Family to talk about what it really looks like to raise strong-willed kids—without breaking their spirits or losing your own peace.

Wendy’s story is powerful. She shared how motherhood brought her to a breaking point when her daughter, Stella, began pushing every boundary imaginable. From toddler defiance to frequent meltdowns, Wendy was exhausted and frustrated—desperate for a new way forward. What she discovered through positive parenting not only transformed her daughter’s behavior, it transformed her own heart as a mom.

Here are a few highlights from our conversation and what I think every homeschool parent needs to hear:

Strong-willed doesn’t mean broken. It means brilliantly wired.

The world often tells us to “break the will” of a strong child. But Wendy challenges us to see it differently: what if your child’s persistent personality is a sign of deep purpose, leadership, and courage? What if they’re not trying to be difficult—but trying to feel powerful in the only way they know how?

When we shift from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What need are they trying to meet?”—everything begins to change.

Parenting transformation begins with you.

Wendy reminds us that strategy won’t stick unless we first shift the way we see our children and ourselves. Most of us are parenting with tools handed down from our own childhood—tools shaped by fear, force, or control. The work begins by noticing our default reactions, offering ourselves compassion, and choosing to lead our homes from a place of true power, not just control.

Strategy matters—but only when paired with connection.

Wendy shared her “Firm and Kind Parenting Blueprint,” a 4-step strategy for handling recurring challenges with clarity and empathy. It includes:

• Setting firm boundaries
  
• Explaining the why behind them
  
• Engaging the child’s critical thinking
  
• Offering choices that honor their need for autonomy
  
  

But without empathy and connection, even the best strategies fall flat. That’s why she says: rules minus relationship equals rebellion. Rules plus relationship equals respect.

Repair is a sacred parenting skill.

We all mess up. What matters is what we do next. Wendy introduced the idea of “makeups”—small acts of service or gestures of kindness that repair a rupture after we lose our cool. And she models them first, so her children learn by example.

These moments of repair aren’t signs of weakness. They’re the very moments our children learn what grace, humility, and relational responsibility really look like.

Joy is in the small, sacred moments.

For the tired mama who feels burned out and far from joyful, Wendy offers this gentle encouragement:

“Look your child in the eyes. Place your hand on their shoulder. Step outside. Let nature restore your nervous system. Joy isn’t found in doing it all right—it’s found in choosing presence in the middle of the mess.”

About Wendy Snyder:

Wendy Snyder is a positive parenting educator and family life coach dedicated to helping parents transform their homes into havens of connection, peace, and cooperation. Through her Fresh Start Family program, Wendy empowers families to ditch old-school, fear-based tactics and embrace a fresh, effective approach rooted in empathy, respect, and firm, loving boundaries.

With over a decade of experience and a mission to end painful generational cycles, Wendy inspires parents to build strong, thriving relationships with their children and create a legacy of love that lasts a lifetime. Expand your heart, learn new tools, strengthen your family.

Want More Support?

Wendy offers a free Strong-Willed Child Power Bundle that includes a one-hour workshop full of practical tools and mindset shifts for parents who are ready to thrive. It’s such a great resource, and I highly recommend it!

You can also find her podcast, The Fresh Start Family Show, wherever you listen to podcasts.

If this conversation encouraged you, I’d love to hear from you. Have you had an “aha” moment in parenting a strong-willed child? What helps you stay grounded and connected when the days are hard? Leave a comment or message me—because you’re not alone, and you’re doing important, sacred work.

With you in the journey,
Julie