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Words Like Honey: How Our Everyday Speech Shapes Our Children’s Souls 

As homeschool moms, we carry a deep desire to nurture our children’s minds—but just as importantly, we long to shepherd their hearts. And so much of that heart work happens not in our carefully curated curriculum, but in the everyday words we speak.

In this week’s episode of The Feast Life, I had the joy of welcoming back Amy Hughes—homeschooling mom of nine and author of the powerful new book Words Like Honey. Together, we explored how our everyday language can either unintentionally harm or beautifully heal, shaping the emotional and spiritual lives of our children.

It’s Not Just What You Say—It’s How (and When) You Say It

Amy shares from both research and personal experience that the phrases we use without thinking—“Be careful,” “Hurry up,” “What were you thinking?”—can be internalized in surprising and often painful ways. Our children’s brains are still developing, especially in early and middle childhood. What feels like a harmless joke or a casual correction to us can feel like a defining truth to them.

She tells the story of her daughter misunderstanding a joke her dad made when she was six. That misunderstanding shaped her perception for seven years—a powerful reminder that our words are seeds, and they grow.

The Four R’s of Intentional Speech

Amy introduces a framework to help us become more intentional:

1. Rethink – Reflect on whether a phrase sends the message you want.
   
   
2. Replace – Swap unhelpful phrases with life-giving ones.
   
   
3. Reframe – Change the way you say something to affirm rather than shame.
   
   
4. Repair – Humble yourself and apologize when you mess up.
   
   

We all get it wrong sometimes. But Amy reminds us that repair is one of the most powerful things we can offer our children—it models humility, restoration, and safety.

Words That Heal

Amy encourages parents to be as intentional with affirmation as we are with correction. Kids need to hear, “You bring so much life to this family,” or “I’m so glad I get to be your mom.”

She shares that for every one negative or critical comment, it takes five positive, affirming ones to balance the emotional impact. And if that sounds like a lot—it is! But it’s also a reminder that our words are powerful tools for building our child’s sense of worth, identity, and connection.

From Triggers to Transformation

One of the most freeing parts of this conversation was hearing Amy talk about parenting triggers—and how our automatic responses often come from our own stories. She shares how her irritation when her kids asked “What’s for dinner?” came from past frustrations, not present behavior.

When we understand our triggers, we’re better able to respond with intention instead of reaction. That self-awareness is a gift to ourselves and to our children.

Speaking Life into Homeschool

This isn’t just about parenting—it deeply impacts our homeschool culture too.

When we rush through a lesson or snap at a child who’s “taking too long,” we’re often operating from pressure, not peace. Amy reminds us that a slower pace, built-in margin, and emotional safety are what actually create space for real learning and connection.

She even discovered her son was dyslexic simply because she took the time to listen rather than push. That kind of presence is where homeschool truly becomes a feast of relationship and discovery.

What’s the Takeaway?

Your words matter. Not just the curriculum words or the teaching words—but the in-between ones. The knee-jerk ones. The whispered ones. The ones your kids remember for a lifetime.

And the beautiful news? You don’t have to do it perfectly. With awareness, intention, and repair, you can create a home atmosphere where your children not only grow in knowledge—but also in grace, safety, and trust.

Let’s commit to speaking words like honey—words that bring life, not pressure. Encouragement, not fear. Words that build bridges and soften hearts, including our own.

About Our Guest:

Amy Hughes is a mother of nine, a writer, a speaker, and a parenting coach living on the central coast of California. A featured writer for Wild + Free, Amy is a sought-after keynote and conference speaker and has been published in Scary Mommy, (in)Courage, Simplify Magazine, The Fallow House, The Natural Family, Rhythm of the Home, Christian Unschooling, and more. She reads too many books and drinks too much coffee, plus she thinks she’s incredibly funny. She lives in Paso Robles, California.

Connect with Amy Hughes:

• Words Like Honey by Amy Hughes – OUT NOW
• Amy’s Instagram: @simplelittleamy
• Amy’s website: simplelittleamy.com
• Previous episode with Amy on “The Gift of a Slow Childhood”