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#93: Words Like Honey: How to Speak Life Over Your Children with Amy Hughes

Season #2

In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode, Julie Ross welcomes back author and homeschool mom of nine, Amy Hughes, to talk about her brand-new book, Words Like Honey: How to Avoid Unintentional Harm, Model Kindness, and Nurture Your Child’s Faith Through What You Say.

Amy shares how the words we use with our children—especially the ones we say on autopilot—can either breathe life or unintentionally wound. Drawing from neuroscience, child development, and her own 19 years of homeschooling, Amy invites us to pause, reflect, and reframe the way we speak to the precious souls in our care.

Whether it’s the everyday “hurry up” or “be careful,” or more deeply rooted phrases from our own upbringing, Amy helps parents recognize how language shapes identity and connection. This conversation is a gentle wake-up call and a beautiful invitation to parent more mindfully—with our words soaked in grace.

Key Takeaways:

  • Unintentional harm matters: Many parents don’t realize that common phrases can deeply affect how children view themselves and the world—even if said in jest.

  • Words stick longer than we think: Children often internalize adult speech literally, especially when they're young and lack the brain development to interpret nuance.

  • The 4 R’s Framework:
     Amy shares a practical tool to reframe our communication:

    • Rethink – Pause to reflect on whether your words align with the message you intend.
    • Replace – Swap out vague or harmful phrases with ones that give clarity and support.
    • Reframe – Adjust how you express correction or direction in a positive, empowering way.
    • Repair – Be willing to apologize, revisit past words, and make amends—this builds trust.

  • Speak life, not just correction: Aim for a 5:1 ratio of affirming to correcting words. Offer specific, life-giving affirmations like “You bring joy to this family.”

  • Active listening transforms relationships: Asking questions like “Do you want advice or just someone to listen?” builds trust, especially with teens. Listening helps diffuse fear, shame, and resistance in both parenting and homeschooling.

  • Replace automatic phrases:

    • Instead of “Be careful”, say “Watch your step on the rocks—they might be slippery.”
    • Instead of “Hurry up”, try “Let’s race to the car!” or “Dad’s almost home with dessert—let’s be ready!”

  • Parenting triggers often stem from our own stories: Amy shares how her reaction to “What’s for dinner?” revealed deeper layers from her past—and how becoming aware helped her respond with more grace.

  • Apologies go a long way: Modeling humility and owning mistakes builds safety, even when children are older. It teaches them they don’t need to be perfect and opens the door for honest conversations.

  • Slowing down helps us hear: Many parenting conflicts happen because we’re too rushed to listen. Slowing our pace—especially in homeschool moments—makes room for curiosity and connection.

Resources Mentioned:

Just Getting Started? Get our FREE Charlotte Mason and You Workshop to see if this powerful approach can transform your homeschool. https://www.thefeastlife.me/opt-in

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Today’s episode is sponsored by the award winning Charlotte Mason curriculum A Gentle Feast. Get started with smooth and easy days at https://www.agentlefeast.com.